• Parenting

    What Nobody Tells You About Raising Teenagers

    When my kids were all little, I looked forward to their teenage years about as much as I looked forward to a root canal. It’s one thing to make a six-year-old eat his broccoli, but it’s quite another to navigate puberty, high-school drama, and the myriad other minefields that are allsthings raising teenagers into contributing members of society. Remember those What to Expect books? There’s a reason they didn’t write one for teenagers. There’s not much of a manual for small humans, but I could impart various wisdoms on topics such as how the hell to get a kid to not completely destroy the house while you shower. I could…

  • Tomatoes in pot

    Mushrooms & Chicken Legs…or the Great Dinner Battle

    “What’s for dinner” is the worst thing a kid can ask. Ever. Moms all over the world hate that question. But what they hate even more is answering it. “Mushrooms in mushroom sauce over chicken legs with broccoli on top,” I say. “Nuh uh! What’s REALLY for dinner?” My favorite way to answer is with all of their least favorite foods mushed into one grotesque sounding meal. Because I’m cool like that. It’s basically the right of every mother to answer as ambiguously as possible, mostly because SOMEONE will object. And when you have 9 kiddos…it’s a good night if ONLY 1 kid objects. One of the biggest hurdles of…