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Potty Training & Teenagers: The two hardest moments in parenting
Parenting teenagers is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I finally understand why my parents have an aversion to this stage in life. They rapidly alternate from being these delightful, funny almost adult people to doing things that have me questioning everything I’ve ever known. They are the very definition of dialectical. (Thank you therapy) They will, in the same day, be the epitome of happy-go-lucky, then swing over to absolutely broken and the world is the worst. They embody “big emotions.” And it’s exhausting. And most of us are too afraid to talk about HOW EXHAUSTING TEENAGERS ARE. At least in public. It’s much cooler to brag about how…
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Life Update Or Virtual Christmas Card
Ah. Life. Here it is December of yet another whirlwind of a year. I’m realizing I haven’t posted anything in my mishmash family blog since April. A lot happens in those months when you have a large family. Or really, if you have a family at all. Highlights: We are discovering the importance of the right mental health meds for kids and grownups alike. School is going. Man it’s tough to have 3 in high school, 2 in middle school and 2 grade schoolers. But everyone is getting good grades. Most of the time. Nick and I still have the same jobs. Yay. With any luck, we’ll have a couch…
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Now I Hear You
“I just don’t want to get my hearing tested. I already feel like I’m old.” “Honey, it’s not any different than needing glasses.” There’s a stigma around hearing loss as we age. It’s for old people. And by old I mean 90. I may be feeling my years but I’m definitely not 90. So I put it off. Working from home full time during the pandemic made it easy to ignore. Make my family come closer or turn up the volume on Zoom. Easy peasy. No hearing aids required. “Let’s review your test results,” says the very nice audiologist. “You have mild to moderate hearing loss in both ears and…
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Bullies
“Mom, some kids in a black car drove past us while we were walking home from the bus stop and called us faggots.” “What? Who? Do you know them?” “No. I don’t know who they are. Just randos.” It’s been a rough year for our baby dragons. And it’s been a rough year for our kiddo that isn’t a dragon, but whose BFFs are. And…she went through a horrible experience at the end of the last school year that involved a classmate. Middle school wasn’t much fun for me either. I was awkward and shy. I had big hair, glasses, and braces and no sense of style. I never was…
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Whirlwind
The sound of rain against the glass is my companion all morning. The dog barks, pulling me from my work and reminding me the world exists outside of my den. My phone buzzes with the familiar text: Lunch? I text back: Yup The house is quieter than it’s been in months. All six kiddos are back in school and the cats and dogs are as baffled by the silence as I am. We sit quietly at the table munching on our usual lunch fare. Some combination of a sandwich, chips and a few carrots just to be a little healthy. Nick looks up at me and says, “Want to go…
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I’m a Mama Dragon
“We are so glad you felt comfortable talking to us. We love you no matter what!” I wasn’t always an ally. I didn’t grow up that way. My understanding and opinions have changed quite a bit though. As an adult, I’ve often stated that I support the LGBTQ community and thought I would easily support any of my children who felt part of the community. Learning about my baby dragons changed what I thought I knew. It changed how easy I thought it would be to be supportive. Fear set in. What if it’s just a phase? What’s the deal with pronouns? What if I’m supporting them wrong? How do…
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Eye of the Storm
“How are you?” “Well, I have a ton of work to do. I broke my daughter because consequences are a thing and I’m exhausted.” “What are you doing to take care of yourself?” “Um. After I work all day, I’ll probably finish the Harry Potter castle with my husband.” The therapist smiles and I send my daughter into her office. Some of us were always meant to be in the eye of the storm. We sit, hunkered down while chaos rages. If I close my eyes, I can hear the roar of tornado strength winds. I know that if I let go, I will be caught up and thrown around…
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Gratitude
Matthew 6:1-6 Take heed that ye do not your alms before med, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven. Therefore when thou doest [thine] alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth: That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly. And when thou prayest, thou shalt…
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Life Lessons During a Pandemic
I took most of my babies to school yesterday for the first time since March. We’ve nearly forgotten how to do a morning routine. Thankfully, it’s like riding a bike complete with scrapes and bruises. I sit clicking away on my keyboard in a quiet house. Eerily quiet. The cats wander across my desk confused by the lack of humans and the dog comes in on occasion to make sure I’m still here. All this quiet has me reflecting on the many lessons we’ve learned this year. Life Lesson #1: The size of my pants doesn’t matter as much as I thought it did, but physical activity does. For the…
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Mental Health During a Pandemic
“Are you happy?” My husband asks. I pause and think and finally say, “I don’t know. I’m not sure what that looks like anymore.” Fast forward (or rather slow forward) some months… I sit on my front porch surrounded by dirt and pots and plants. I’m focused on creating a fairy garden because I desperately need a project. Something to distract from months of stress. Months of worry about stressed-out teens. Never-ending months of worry about work and insurance and everyone’s mental health. Anxiety has been my companion for decades, but everyone has been home and inside and the weather refuses to warm up. So I sit and tinker. And…
